So this one looked like it was placed somewhere between Gotham city and New York City. I think I was with Rachel. I was definitely with someone and I had taken something again. Someone once again was chasing after me to get back what I had taken and I remember thinking that I knew exactly where I was going to run except I was wrong. I had gotten to this medium sized dam. It was big enough that I didn’t want to jump but small enough that I knew I would survive. So of course I jump and make it perfectly to the bottom. No problem but this guy is still on my tail. Next thing I know I’m in the city and then my dream fades. I’m not sure if I started waking up or if everything going black was part of the dream. Then end. Not a very good ending this time.
Forgot that I want to chronicle my dreams: this one was a while ago
Something has happened. The world is white in every direction, it’s like I’m in infinity but I’m not alone. Wil and Rachel are with me. Karyn is gone, it feels like she’s been gone for a while. It’s the three of us but something doesn’t feel right. Rachel and Wil begin to hold hands and as they do they’re turning away from me. Now I’m looking at them confused, not able to understand what they’re doing. Now they’re walking away. The further they get the more they fade until eventually they are gone, vanished in the white. Now, I’m alone and now everywhere is white except around me. It feels like I am in a bubble of blackness. I awake.
In class listening to a presentation on the divorce on children and it’s turning into an episode of doctor phill. I do not want!!!
Sad? “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14 1-4)
Don’t feel loved? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
Does God feel far from you? You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down;you are familiar with all my ways. (Psalm 139:1-3)
Your faith needs encouragement? Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.
Worried? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34)
Hurt? And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (Colossians 3:14-15)
Seeking Peace? Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)
Losing hope? May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. ( 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)
Don’t understand? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. (Isaiah 58:8-9)
Scared? Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)
Every now and again, I will be in a place, walking by my way or just simply doing nothing and there will be a moment of pure sadness that grips me. It used to be so much more frequent but it’s been a long time since I was hit by it but just a short while ago it happened again. First, it’s literally been a really long time since it’s happened. I remember it would happen on my way to a meeting that I would have regularly, however, I could never pin why. Often times I would be alone before these meetings and I did question if that was the cause of it but I never felt like it could be that simple. Maybe that added to the issue but I hate the idea of that being the sole catalyst to me falling into a depressed mood. I also used to think that it would be caused by seeing something… Have you ever gone on FB and come across something that upset you? sometimes I do. Sometimes I’ll see something from someone who is on mine and I would either be annoyed or become sick to my stomach in the most literal of ways. But then again how consistent could that be. It hasn’t happened together each time every time so clearly that can’t be it. How about the meeting though? I hate to think that it had or has something to do with that. It could unfortunately though, and that is the problem. This meeting that I’m so frequently a part of isn’t supposed to be a trial on my heart or mind. Somewhere in the dark reaches of my mind is a memory of someone saying that it could be a spiritual issue, which, ok, it could be but that brings me right back to the main problem, for me, with that being true. All in all, I never figured it out. I would like to be able to figure it out and overcome it. I had told people, in varying degrees of honesty and seriousness that I am never far from a complete mental breakdown and it used to be true. As of late, I felt really far from that feeling of just being a dropped pen away from a breakdown. Today, just a few hours ago, I got a hint of that back. It won’t beat me. It lacks the pure strength to do so and my pure will would never let me just go down. Consider me a fighter or a fool but I can’t be beat this way. I can be wounded but not beat.